Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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