he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
