She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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