Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
