How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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