Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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