If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
