I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
