I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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