I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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