i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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