I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
