I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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