I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
