I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
