I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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