make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
