Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
