theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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