I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
