Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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