The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
