brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize