youre lurking in front of me
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
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You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
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Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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