You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
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I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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