they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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