I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
