I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
the raccoons are back...
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