I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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