Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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