I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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