i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
