Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.