Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(720): View more from Colorado

I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.

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(706): View more from Georgia

so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess

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(310): View more from California

My entire life is one complicated drinking game

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(518): View more from New York

you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(443): View more from Maryland

I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong

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(906): View more from Michigan

scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor

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(410): View more from Maryland

i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.

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(281): View more from Texas

This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?

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