my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?