Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.