She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
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