Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
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Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
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You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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