True but thats because hes a fetus.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
