i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
