I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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