East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
