Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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