I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
