I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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