my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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