Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize