I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
