You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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