This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
