Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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