We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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