he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
