A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
