69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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