Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
