508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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