Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
