Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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