My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
she told me i tasted like america
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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