Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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