Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
